the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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