its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
