At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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