its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
