Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
