We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
