I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
