You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
