There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
