Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
