Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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