Betty ford says i'm here all night
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
