she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize