i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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