went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He did a backflip because drugs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
