Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
