even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
