woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
