All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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