Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
