It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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