If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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