Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
