can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
