Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
