he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize