Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
