I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
