I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
