What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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