I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
