there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
wow bdsm is so cute
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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