return my video game
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
