Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
