This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
