drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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