They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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