I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
