I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
