she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
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