I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
