I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
