I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
only you would photoshop your dick
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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