and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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