it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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