the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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