just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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