Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
