I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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