Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
