He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize