Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
