i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
