North Korea, Best Korea!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
