I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
