I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sponge bath it is.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
