This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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