the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
