using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
