Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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