Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize