i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
