trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
