I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
