Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
