I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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