someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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