Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
